You know who I'm talking about

The Dead Sea people at the mall. They call out "Excuse me my friend, can I show you something?"  You know who I'm talking about. We all do the same things; look the other way and pretend not to hear them, pull your cell phone out and pretend you are busy, or if they catch your eye you splurt out "Ah, No thank you, not interested", or "I'm in a huge hurry, I really can't."

They caught me at a weak moment. I had just dropped off my ring for a cleaning, only to realize that upon its glorious return there was a diamond missing!! It was discovered in the basket they used to polish it, and they promised to restore it.
So while I was distracted looking at my lonely band (and a little peeved that they didn't check it before giving it back to me) I was stopped by Fabrizto from Italy who "wanted to show me something."

He caught me off gaurd. I said I wasn't interested. He grabs my hand and begins to put cream on it explaining to me that I am going to "lub" this product and it will only take a minute. Darn. Again I said I wasn't interested.
He continued to rub cream on my hand, wipe it with cotton and water and yes, I had to agree that it felt smoother than my other parched hand. My lotion does the same thing. I still wasn't interested. 

Fabrizto: "Jew har berry bewtiful. Jew hab a boyfriend?"
Me: "I'm married."
Fabrizto: "No, today eez not my lucky dai, jew har too yung to be married"
Me: "Well, I am 27, I'm not as young as I look."
This goes on for some time.
I see that my only way out is to buy some facial moisturizer (which I needed).
1st price:  $90.00  (excuse me? um NO.)
2nd price:  $60.00 (because I was his friend)
3rd price:  $35.00  (after I promised not to tell any of my friends)
Fine.
Now this part is crazy. As I'm checking out, he runs and grabs the body butter, tosses it in the bag and says, "I give you dis for only $15 dawlars!"  Is he serious? Not only did he initally tell me it was 50 dollars, but did he just put it in my bag without asking? He swipes my card, what the?!..
Okay so AS I AM LEAVING he says, "One more ting, we haf a new product, I show it to jew and jew bring jour mom for next time."

I thought that sounded safe, so I sit in the chair and tells me my eyes look puffy (thanks a lot) and this product is just like botox. He says it excerises the muscles around the eye, (sure it does..)
Its a 3-step process. Each thing is $500.00.
Me:  "Wow, for $1,500.00 you could buy a car. Thats rediculous."
Fabrizto: "Madonna travels to the Red Sea ebery jear for dis cream."
Me: "Well thats great, Madonna is rich."
Fabrizto: "True, she eez a reech beech."  (he really said that)

He then tries to sell it to me! AFTER I already bought something. Two somethings!  He grabs his cell and pretends to call his "manager." This is the stupidist trick. The guys at Golds Gym do it all the time. He fakes a converstation begging in my behalf for the cheaper price.  The best part is while he is in the middle of this converstation, his PHONE STARTS RINGING!! True story.  BUSTED! He tries to recover. The price goes from 1500.00 to 250.00 for all 3. 

I say no, completely amused by this circus. I can take my puffy eyes to the gym with some good sleep thank you very much.
I leave. He calls me back while I have one foot on the escalator. I almost trip and turn around. Did I leave my credit card with this crazy person?  Nope, he asks me for my number. How do you say CREEPER in Italian? 

Lesson learned. Stay away!!!