The cherry on top

I feel like the luckiest girl alive. We have such a happy home and Josh is the cherry on top. Being a mom is the best thing in the world. Look at this face! I get to wake up to this every day! As you can see, he is a very thoughtful boy...(and I just had to post this one of him crosseyed)

 

Sleepless in Salt Lake...

Has it already been two and a half weeks? Wow. The days have blurred into one giant blob of nursing, burping, changing dirty diapers, and responding the the cries of one particular tiny person. The waking call of motherhood. And waking it is. Zombies probably get more sleep than this.. :) 

A few things I've learned:

• Babies eat every 2-3 hours around the clock. (you may be thinking, well duh! we tried to tell you!) Well what I didn't know was that it takes about 30-45 minutes to feed and then they need to be changed, burped and often coaxed back to sleep almost after feeding. Tack on another 15-30 minutes.
• So to the non mommies out there, you may be thinking what I thought. That you get to sleep for 2-3 hours until you do this again. Nope. That hour or so is INCLUDED in the 2-3 hours feeding schedule. And if your baby is like mine, his internal clock is pretty dang accurate to the real clock. 
• By the time you complete this cycle and make your way back to your warm bed and begin to doze off, you hear it. Those mommy ears are on an entirely new radar. Its time to jump back on the carousel and do it again.
• Nursing hurts at first. Unless your nipples are made of stone, it feels like a barracuda latches on and bites you a million times with those tiny needle/knife teeth. (even if they are latched on right) My subconscious was even in pain as few days into nursing I had a dream that Josh bit off my nipple and swallowed it...true story.  
• On more of a positive note, so much of being a parent is natural and instinctive.
• Nursing actually does get better with time
• I feel like the Grinch when his heart grows 3 sizes that it practically bursts out of his chest. I didn't know I had more room in my heart for all this love!
• Baby smell is addicting. They should bottle it.
• Not all babies like to be swaddled
• Is it me or do Dads all of a sudden become more attractive after you have a baby? I could watch my two boys together all day. 

Moments of confusion:

• You know when sometimes you hear your phone ring but its really not? The phantom ring? The same goes for baby cry. Phantom cry can be very confusing.
• I woke up cradling a pillow thinking it was Josh. There was a brief moment of anxiety because I thought I had suffocated him.
• I woke up another time holding onto Keith's arm thinking it was Josh. Had another brief moment of anxiety because I couldn't figure out how Josh had lost so much weight.

 In a way its like he's always been here with us. We feel so blessed to have such a sweet new spirit in our home. He has given an entire new purpose to life, making sweet moments seem sweeter, and all those tired moments feel well worth it. I have a permanent smile pressed on my face, let me show you why-

Josh makes the funniest faces while he sleeps...!



And sometimes he even smiles...

Here he is peacing out...;)

Joshua Richard Dyer

The waiting has come to an end. Sunday November 7th at 2:36 am we welcomed the arrival of our little Joshua. It all started when I woke up Saturday morning with back pain. I spent the day trying to figure out if I was in labor or not! (Mostly because the week before, on Josh's due date I had false labor pains- Braxton Hicks and didn't want to go through the anticipation only for it to be false...AGAIN.)  Plus the pains I felt weren't what I had imaged contraction pains to feel like, so when we finally arrived at the hospital around 5pm my contractions were between 3-5 minutes apart and I was definitely in labor! My water was broken at 10. I got an epidural around 11, and let me tell you how grateful I am for modern medicine! I was finally able to rest after about 16 hours of labor and I guess I relaxed enough because within a couple of hours I was dilated to a 10. The hard part was that we had to wait for my doctor who was in an emergency C-section in another hospital. We waited for about 30 minutes before I started pushing, and my doctor got there just in time.

Joshua unfortunately ended up swallowing a lot of fluid and was rushed to the NICU where he was put on oxygen and hooked up to IV's and monitors.

I have an entirely new appreciation for parents with sick babies. It was hard for us to not have him in the room with us, we didn't get the bonding experience that I had anticipated. Even though we were able to visit him throughout the day, it was for short periods of time because he needed his rest. My heart is full of gratitude for everyone who kept little Joshy in their prayers, and for a husband who is a worthy priesthood holder and was able to give our son a blessing. I know that the Lord was watching out for us and I knew everything would be okay.

The next few days were difficult. I was discharged Tuesday and moved to another room in the back of the hospital for families who have babies in the NICU. I stayed there 2 more days without a nurse, but at least I was close to Joshua and I tried best I could to pump milk to feed him and even got to nurse him near the end of our stay. The day they took the IV out of his head is one I will never forget! I was SO ready to get him out of there! It was like breaking out of prison, no more cords connected to his little body, no more oxygen, no more antibiotics, no more nurses, no more washing my arms up to my elbows every singe time I wanted to hold him, no more walking down a cold long hall in the middle of the night after pumping, no more setting the beeping machines off because the monitors would fall off his feet and chest, it was a pure sense of freedom.

Having him home has been a dream. I love everything about him. His tiny nose, the little smiles he makes in his sleep, his limp soft body, his lips, ears, hands, cheeks...oh those chubby chubby cheeks, his smell, his eyes, the way he cries, everything. I literally can stare at him all day. And I do.

The love I have for that little person is incredible. I never thought I could love someone so much! I would do anything for him.

So far we have had 4 nights as a little family. All sleepless, all wonderful. Yes we are exhausted. Joshua has the day and the night confused so mommy and daddy are very tired. But very very happy. :)

How can you not love this face???

Waiting

Most of the great things in life are worth the wait.

These past couple weeks have been of the longest of my life.

In fact, I'd put them right next to the couple weeks before my wedding, the weeks before Christmas as a kid, and the couple of weeks before I left on my mission. At the time, it seemed like it would NEVER come!

That is how I feel right now.

So I decided today that I am NOT going to focus on how excited and anxious I am.

INSTEAD,

I am going to focus on the miracle inside me.

I am going to enjoy each little movement, each little hiccup, each little moment of knowing that we are still bonded as mother and son as one.

I am going to wear the same clothes that I've been wearing for the last 5 months with pride!

I am going to enjoy the pain in my back, my swollen feet, my swollen body, lack of oxygen, and all the extra hormones running through my achy body...! YEAH! :)

I am especially going to relish the few nights of sleep I have left.

And of course the quality time with my darling husband before our small family unit becomes 3.

After all, just as I look back on the anticipating times mentioned above soon I'll be looking back at this time. And who knows, I might actually miss it.

Come out come out wherever you are!!!

Its done.

I made a human. Took me only 9 months!

I've got everything ready for him to come into this world.

Now is just the waiting game...

Here are a couple pictures my wonderful sister-in-law Kjrsten Madsen took.

This is just a glimpse.

I'll post more later, but you can check out more of her work here: http://kjrst.blogspot.com/

Fall

I love this time of year.
The crisp clean air,
the changing leaves,
long sleeves, jeans,
cool nights and warm days.
Keith and I met in the fall of 2005. We met again in the fall of 2008. This time of year brings back all the memories of our courtship. We built fires, went on hikes up the canyon, layed under the stars and played Yatzee by the light of our headlamps. We rode our bikes and played basketball in our sweaters and beenies. We carved pumpkins, watched scary movies, drank hot cocoa, and fell in love.
Our first Halloween together we were little red riding hood and the big bad wolf (although Keith's fabulous costume looks more like Donny Darko). Last year we went as Sarah and David Bowie from the Labyrinth. 2 marvelous years later and here we are. Doing the same things, this time 9 months pregnant and counting down the DAYS (yes DAYS!!!) waiting for the newest little monster to join our family.

There's a Melon in my tummy...

36 weeks: Baby is the size of a crenshaw melon in size.

 (Length: more than 18 1/2 inches, head to heel.)

Its October. I can't believe its finally here. This has been the slowest 8 months of my life. 4 weeks shy of becoming a mother! I can't wait! So much to be done still, but I'm ready to embrace this little bundle.

We went to my mission reunion on Friday. My mission President always gives the most inspirational talks. He currently lives in Guatemala as area President. I make a special effort to go each conference time not only because he is my latter-day hero, but because after hearing what he has to say, my testimony is strengthened and my mind enlightened. EVERY TIME! He makes us feel like we can accomplish anything. I know is he a inspired to teach us and help us become better members of the church, better husbands, wives and parents. After the reunion we drove down to St. George to support my brother-in-law Peter who ran the St. George Marathon. We talked the entire drive down about what we had learned from President Clarke and how we want to be better. It was awesome.  I love my husband. :)